The Truth About Using Travel to Escape Your Problems
Let’s face it: travel won’t magically fix your life. There, I said it, ok, do you need to read any more? I have to start with this truth that’s tough to swallow (sort of like if you have to swallow three frogs, swallow the largest one first). If you’re feeling loneliness, depression, anger, frustration, all of these? Those feelings aren’t checked in like your baggage—they fly/sit/ride right alongside you.
Sure, a change of scenery helps. Jimmy Buffett wasn’t wrong when he sang about “changes in latitude, changes in attitude.” (amateur parrot head here) With much of travel, you’ll get a mental break, a rest, which is great, and might put some distance between you and your problems. But let’s be honest: a trip just doesn’t solve our life’s problems.
It’s easy to believe this lie that travel marketers and social media tell us. We scroll through Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or whatever the latest trend is. Seeing those perfect, smiling, shiny, happy faces in exotic places, and every travel blog seems to sell the idea that one trip will completely change your life. But if you’re booking that plane ticket as a cure-all, you’re likely just setting yourself up for a crash landing.
What a Trip Can (and Can’t) Do
Travel is wonderful for gaining perspective (as Ego wanted so much in Ratatouille). It hands you a much-needed (and let’s face it, much-deserved) break from the daily grind, and that distance (literally and figuratively) can be incredibly healthy. Stepping away from your routine sometimes lets you see your issues from a different angle. This occurs most when your trip schedule is jam-packed, and you have the time and the solitude to think.
But here’s the rub: it isn’t therapy. A flight won’t fix a broken relationship, it won’t heal grief, and it certainly won’t erase isolation, anxiety, or any of a hundred other things you may be dealing with. It might distract you for two weeks, but trust me, when the trip ends, and you unpack your suitcase, your problems will still be sitting there waiting for you.
The best way to travel? Deal with your issues first, or at least acknowledge and commit to working on them. Then, travel becomes what it should be: a rest from your kids/wife/husband/partner, awful job/boss, empty bank account, or whatever — not a desperate escape.)
The Travel Stressors We All Ignore
What the shiny brochures never tell you is that travel can be deeply stressful. Just ask anyone who has traveled in the last year:
- Flights are delayed.
- Security lines take forever.
- Where the hell is your luggage?
- The food costs SOOOO much more than what you expected, even outside of airports.
- Every sign is in a language you don’t speak (really great when driving).
- Jet lag catches up to you.
- Your stomach decides it hates the local water/food, and all day long, you are looking for the next bathroom.
- The bus/train/plane/tour schedule changes, or worse, you read it wrong.
- You spend half your time trying to figure out if that helpful person is a Good Samaritan or a scammer.
When you’re traveling, you lose control of so much of your life (you’re not driving the bus or train and hopefully not flying that plane). And that lack of control will probably intensify the very issues you were trying to leave behind. If you’re already feeling vulnerable, these small stressors can absolutely push you over the edge.
When Escape Becomes Isolation
So many of us book a trip hoping to outrun feelings like loneliness or depression. But there’s an awful truth about this: there’s nothing lonelier than being in a massive crowd where everyone else seems to be having the time of their life, except you.
You might be neutral, but being surrounded by people thrilled by art, Vistas, or nature can be very isolating. You start thinking to yourself, “Why am I not feeling this same joy?” This giant gap between expectation and reality can just deepen your sense of isolation. I’ve been there, bought the T-shirt, and found that it didn’t fit.
The Train Story: When Plans Implode
I remember my very first trip to Europe with my friend Helen. We boarded a train from Munich heading for Amsterdam. We were so exhausted we just crashed in an empty car and fell asleep.
When we woke up, the train wasn’t moving. We were alone, sitting on a detached car in a silent Frankfurt train yard. Absolute panic. We grabbed our backpacks, stumbled off, and started yelling for help (in the wrong language, of course). Eventually, a truly kind soul found us with a cart, and I have to admit we dissolved into ridiculous laughter, the good Samaritan included! We were late to Amsterdam, but we had a story we’ll never forget.
That’s the thing: the unexpected often becomes the best memory. But that only happens if you’re in the right headspace to laugh at yourself. If you’re clinging to travel as your only lifeline, these moments don’t feel like fun chaos—they feel daunting and intimidating.
Relationships: The Ultimate Travel Stress Test
If your relationship is struggling, a trip might help—or it might just shine a huge floodlight on the cracks you’ve been ignoring. Some couples definitely rekindle the flame on the road (unfortunately, I’ve had the bad luck to always have the room next to them for some reason?). Others discover that the stresses of travel magnify every issue they’ve been avoiding dealing with back in the real world.
Here’s my absolute favorite piece of relationship advice: If you think someone might be “the one,” take a two-week trip together where neither of you speaks the language, or has been. Stress reveals character like nothing else. If you both burst out laughing when the plans totally implode, you’ve hit the jackpot. As Beyonce says, “better put a ring on it!”
Travel strips away comfort. You’ll see how your partner handles the unavoidable stress of missed trains, wrong turns, language barriers, and cultural misunderstandings. Navigating that mess together with humor and grace? That’s how you build something strong.
The Reality is Always Messier Than Instagram
Social media has created these ridiculously perfect, unrealistic travel expectations. Incredible sunsets (with not a soul other than them in the photo, who do they do that?), perfect itineraries, endless smiles from (just as REM says) shiny happy people. The reality? Travel is messy. It’s unpredictable. And that can actually be the best parts.
The best travelers—the ones who truly enjoy it—embrace the chaos. They laugh when the proverbial dung hits the fan. They know the unexpected moments are the ones you talk about for years.
But if you are holding onto the idea that travel will fix your life, those chaotic moments will feel like huge failures. You’ll be so focused on what’s wrong that you’ll miss the magic entirely.
Travel as a Teacher, Not a Therapist
Travel isn’t a therapist, but it is one hell of a teacher. I have no idea who I ripped that off from, but it has always stuck with me. It teaches you patience, resilience, and most importantly, a huge amount of humility. It reminds you that you aren’t in control, and that’s okay.
Patrick Rothfuss got it right when he said:
“If you want to know the truth of who you are, walk until not a person knows your name. Travel is the great leveler, the great teacher, bitter as medicine, crueler than mirror-glass.”
Travel strips away your illusions. It shows you exactly who you are when life gets messy. That’s its real gift: not solving your problems, but revealing the strengths you already possess.
Final Thoughts
So, should you travel? Absolutely. But do it for the right reasons. Travel out of curiosity, for adventure, to learn. Travel to experience new cultures and beautiful vistas. Travel to grow.
Just don’t expect it to erase your heartache, your anxiety, or your feelings of inadequacy. Don’t expect it to fix your marriage or cure your loneliness. Those are inner journeys, and they require a lot more than a plane ticket and a sunset.
Travel is wonderful. It changes your perspective; it changed mine. It gives you incredible stories. But it’s not magic. It’s just life—in all its messy, unpredictable, and beautiful forms.
Thank you for reading my article. If you would like to read about other travel posts, you can go to Articles to see all posts, or to Destinations to see them grouped by location. General travel tips can be found here.
